okay... well i think that i am going to get a new live journal... one that doesn't have all this horrible stuff in it. start over fresh... hopefully i won't have to add anything to it besides good stuff... hopefully i'll stop screwing up. i believe that this lusting for death chapter in my life needs to be over. i just have to think of a new name for myself. it might take a while. yeah. still miserable. life still sucks badly. god help me.